Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock
The ill-chosen main event of the evening sees Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson (3-0), internet superstar, square off with UFC legend Ken Shamrock (26-13-2) in a not very highly anticipated freakshow bout. Sportsbook has the odds at -325 Kimbo / +250 Shamrock.
If you don’t know who Kimbo Slice is, chances are you are not reading this report, because you have never heard of the internet. The mean-mugging Youtube star, who looks like Don King if you flipped his facial hair and the hair on his head, made an extremely lucrative career for himself, first by destroying nobodies in backyards throughout Miami, and then by destroying nobodies on Elite XC televised programming. Kimbo’s likeness is pretty much the only thing keeping Elite XC’s ratings afloat, and so they have been scrambling madly to find opponents famous enough to generate huge interest but bad enough at fighting so that they will actually lose to someone as awful as Kimbo Slice.
Enter Ken Shamrock, a man who fits the bill so perfectly it’s like he descended from heaven for just that purpose. Shamrock made a name himself by being a top competitor in the original UFC tournaments, and then by being a superstar performer in the WWF, and then by flying into steroids-induced rages and babbling like an idiot on national television. As if that wasn’t enough to make Gary Shaw’s mouth water, since beating Kimo Leopoldo in 2004, Shamrock has been knocked out in the first round five times in his last five fights, and by such world-renowned strikers as “Buzz” Berry and Kazushi Sakuraba. At this point, a light ocean breeze would probably be enough to put Shamrock in a coma, and since Kimbo does hit very slightly harder than a light ocean breeze, the outcome of this fight is ridiculously predictable.
Let’s face it, anyone who gets knocked out by a broken down version of Kazushi Sakuraba is never going to win a fight again. Kimbo by knockout within 2 minutes.
